And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him.

"It's tough to stay married. is often riddled with hilarious moments. Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. — Rita Rudner, American comedian, 2.

— Socrates, Greek philosopher, 24. "Husbands and wives are irritating. Welcome back. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but … — Ann Bancroft, American actress, 25. — Andre Maurois, French writer, 26. Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. "Getting married is like trading the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one." Til’ death do us … — Anonymous, 10. Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." First, let her think she's having her own way. "For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. — Rodney Dangerfield, American comedian, 12. A good marriage is always a relationship of balance. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. — Billy Connolly, Scottish comedian, 21. “When love beckons to you follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. You eat dinner, she's there. A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night.

It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things.

From thoughtful marriage wishes for the happy couple to funny wedding greetings that’ll make them smile, these sweet wedding wishes quotes will make your card especially memorable. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it."
Learning to … The end." "To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the loving cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up." Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person. And life is a little weird. A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. — Ogden Nash, American poet, 3. " — Erma Bombeck, American comedian, 9.
"I love being married. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. — Mae West, American actress, 17. And second, let her have it. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you.

So read through these funny quotes from our favorite famous folks (even throw one or two into your ceremony readings, vows or a wedding toast!) The first time you marry for love, the second for money, and the third for companionship. Because, let's be real, a happy marriage is usually far from perfect, and married life (hello, spending every waking minute with the same person and somehow still loving them!) Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? "Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome." Love is not canceled, neither is your planning. — Agatha Christie, English writer, 20. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth...... “The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him.”, “No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn't in submission to God!”, “To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”, “So it's not gonna be easy. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?" — Robert Fulgham, American author, 30. I want all of you, forever, everyday. So each is inevitably disappointed."

I love being married. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German writer, 16.

Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. “Marriage: Love is the reason. "Marriage has no guarantees. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”, “Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”, “Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Ladies, I apologize. Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

— Benjamin Franklin, Founding Father of the United States, 23. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage.

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